A Big Ben in the London Eye… Look at this “Missile”‏

Misura

Punters,

The Dingo is excited!

My own “Big Ben” currently stands as proud as a honeymooners appendage after what’s been spotted through my “London Eye” being cast over the Olympics!

Now I’m not talking about our athletes bringing home more silver than Busking homeless prick…..

I’m talking about the royal crumpet on display at the Olympics!

Don’t worry about the whohar about who was going to carry the Aussie Flag at the opening ceremony….

I’ve had a continual 8 Day Flag pole in my pants that would carried the southern cross no worries at all.

Get a look at the sample of what has been making my flag fly….

Antonija Misura…  Never heard of her? Don’t worry about hearing about her… Just get a look at her!!!!!!

Let’s just say I’d be happy to Cro ate her!!!! She certainly could play with my Bballs!!!

Yurkovich

Marta Zderic…. Another Croatian…. Who’s speciality is Handball…. Enough said!!!!!

Naomi Flood… Im already wet just writing this

Rachel Yurkovich- she makes the Russian men jerk of a bit

Sophie Polkamp…. Yeap another “pol” expert

Casey Eastham… Again the Flags are pointing in a northly direction!!!

Yelena Isinbayeva- Pole Vaulter… However would need to hit some kind of record to get over this “bar” setting!!

Elisa Di Francisca- fencer… So has experience with Swords!!!

Di Francisca

And they reckon a few pills or nasal spray will help any bloke having Flag pole issues….

The Dingo says just sit down to the London….
It’s certainly giving us its best performance!!!

Happy viewing!!!
Dingo UP & FLYING THE FLAG

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The Dingo returns

Punters,
Never fear the bloody Dingo is here…

Well it’s been a while…. The Dingo has been living in the stone age….literally…

Carving his thoughts out with rocks on hard concrete floors…

I know you punters have been waiting for my return with baited breath…

In my absence there’s been plenty going down in the sporting world.

I see the gauntlet has been tossed my way on The topic of Aussie cricket captain…. I’ve been accused of being the Leichhardt Sniper…

Anyway let’s get a few things out of the way….

The Pup….
Well the Dingo is prepared to say I was wrong about this bloke….
Forgetting his cricketing ability…
Look at the absolute glamour the poonce has bagged….

Let me just say this Dingo wishes he marked his territory with her long ago…

The Pup is now THE DOG!!!!



 

 

 

 

The Leichhardt sniper… The Dingo lawyers says I did not take that baby… I mean I don’t own a high powered sniper rifle……

Rugby Union….
Still as boring as all shit…

The Waratahs couldn’t beat The Gerringong under 10’s…..

The crusaders are cruising and when the hell will those halfwits from the ARU flick the sheep shagger as our national coach….

In league…..
Looks like same old story…..
Qld rock….
While Nsw suck donkeys balls…
Yet cry like old babies about a no try….

One good thing for the Blues…. Robbie Wah Wah finally looks like he can organise some tabouli in a kebabshop… He’s nearly fully sick bro…

Apart from the blokes constant crying and whinging…. Never seen so many tears since the Dingo knocked off the lebanese bread at local wog picnic!

What else happening in the Sporting World???

Mark Webber won A Grand Prix!!!!
Yes punters he won the Monaco GP… And he didn’t just pinch the trophy out old Bernie’s Wheet Bix packet!!!!

Ummm Grant “I can’t ” Hackett has gone on a rampage…

Poor old bastard gone through the ringer…
But when ya get home from a bender off ya bloody rocker and The Mrs won’t make ya toastie… Of course the shit is going hit the fan….
Along with the grand piano, the chest of drawers, the microwave and 28 gold medals!!!!!

What about the London Olympics I hear ya say???

Who gives a Steaming Dingo’s turd about the Olympics…. Just means I have to look at a thousand poor dental hygiened twats for a month….

If I wanted that I’d just give Eddie McGuire a call!!!!

Anyway Punters….
The Dingo is back!!!!

Til next time….

The Year That Was Dingo Style!

Punters,

So the year has nearly run it’s course!

And how quickly has it been and gone!

I thought it was appropriate that your friendly K9 goes over a few of biting issues in the Sporting World for what was the Year 2011!

AUSTRALIAN CRICKET

January saw a small part of K9 die!!! Australia’s weak performance and complete and utter annihilation at the hands of the old dart kicked things off in a very poor way.

Straussy and his band of other mercenaries under the English Banner demolished our cricket team on our home patch.

Things didn’t get much better either. In March Ricky Ponting stood down as Australian Captain and to the Dingo’s and most of Australia’s disgust, The DOG that is Michael Clarke was put in charge.

"Captain not so Couragous"

Only after going through a overhaul of his own image. Losing the Hand Bag that was Lara “I’m as dumb as Dingo’s Turds” Bingle. Lara the silly bitch thought it was appropriate to flush half the Diamonds of Australia down the Bowl when the Dog had finally worked out she was a massive slab of concrete holding him down! No wonder the stupid prick has back issues!!!!

Anyway this didn’t sway the Australian Public. Dog was still as popular as someone dropping their guts in an Elevator. To make things worse, the very popular and hard as nails Simon Katich had been told he was no longer a part of future plans with the Test team.

There was public outcry and the Dingo lead the way calling for the Dogs head on the end of a spear! I’ve got a bit of advice for the Dog….I’d suggest avoiding Fraser Island as one of your holiday destinations, as me family would be quite happy to enjoy a meal  out on the Dog!!!!

Back to the cricket, Tour to Sri Lanka saw the Dog start his reign as test skipper a winner! This merely covered over the cracks that were in the Australian Team. It didn’t take them long to appear! Australia head to South Africa were they managed to embarrass themselves at whole new level! Rock and Rolled for 40 odd and losing a test that seemed to be unloseable after bowling the Saffa’s out for 90 odd.

It wasn’t all doom and gloom in South Africa. Australia managed to Unearth Patrick “Stains in ya pants” Cummins! Cummins showed so raw ability in his test debut!

"Coming onto a batsmen"

Australia then moved onto the Summer Series back home against the Sheep Shaggers! What did the Aussies manage to achieve? Their 1st loss to the Kiwi’s in Australia for 25 years!

Phil Hughes also managed made a right old dick of himself! Becoming good mates with Chris “I’m not a Rockstar & Can’t Bat for Shit” Martin & Martin “Just keep on hitting em to me Hughesy” Guptil! Phil managed to snick his way out of the test side and back to park Cricket!

2011 also saw Cricket Australia jump on T20 bandwagon introducing it’s Money Hungry KFC Big Bash League. Pulling retired cricketing legends Shane Warne & Matthew Hayden not so cricket legends Stuart Macgill and Brad Hogg out of retirement to be the face of the league!

The Pyjama game is here to entertain the short concentrated simple folk. It’s certainly by no means the Dingo’s preference being a cricket royalist and tragic…. But hey I’m up for a bit of Hit & Giggle or even Slap & Tickle while ever Warnie and EH are involved!

"would the real Shane Warne please stand up?"

RUGBY UNION!

F&*^ing BORING!

Finding Highlights in Rugby Union is always a tough ask! The game is a s%6t fight! Constantly ruined by the officials blowing the absolute piss out of the whistle!

Anyway 2011 saw the Might QLD Reds bring home the Super 14 Trophy to Austarlia.  Big Ewen Mckenzie has managed to turn a bunch of easy beats into an entertaining Rugby Outfit (I’m still not convinced it’s entertaining!)Strongly lead by James Horwill and well guided around the park by Will Genia & Quade Cooper! Digby Ioane entertained the masses with his post try celebrations….and the best thing of all, the Kiwi Prick Richie Mccall went home a loser!

Now that was until the world cup when the sheep shaggers on their own turf and after taking a pact to refrain from abusing their animals, blew just about everyone out of the water! The French Frog nearly pulled of the miracle in the Final, but the Kiwi’s hung tough and the dirty, arrogant, cheating bastard that is Richie McCall had the last laugh.

RUGBY LEAGUE

The absolute highlight of the rugby league year was the Darren Lockyer Farewell Tour! Razzle Dazzle went on one of the best farewells gifted to any athlete. It including his broncos going deep into Finals, A State of Origin Victory and to top it off a nice little farewell with a Four Nations Title.

His leadership in the yet another Series win against hapless Cockroaches was top notch.  QLD was tested all the way this series due to introduction of Ricky Stuart as head coach!

Sticky Ricky was fantastic! Playing every trick in the book! Telling everyone who would listen how good QLD was and how there was no pressure on NSW, how QLD had influenced the match officials for so long.  Ricky had the whole siege mentality thing working well for him. He tried to match the QLD passion! It was all so very emotional! The Dingo could of nearly shed a tear…..

Bahahaha! Piss of Ricky…ya dribbler!!!

One downer on the Rugby League year was having to put up with those whinging pricks Manly winning the comp! The Sea Eagles spent the whole year in the news! Constantly complaining and bitching about something! Usually just the Stewart boys crying about how David Gallop has it for them blah blah blah!

Hey Brett, don’t try and feel up young girls when ya pissed off ya nit and Gallop won’t have a problem with ya, you snivller!

"nah mate your not my type, i prefer 17 yrs old who say no"

Even Door Plus Hasler had enough by the end of year! Taking his mullet and premiership ring to Belmore for a fresh start! Fully Sick bro!

AFL

No doubt the highlight of the year was watching the AFL Grand Final and seeing those Collingwood Pricks eat sh*t! Nothing warms the Dingo’s heart more than watching Eddie & Co chewing on sour grapes and Poo sandwiches!!!!

Suck a big one Eddie!

"Soaked Pies or is that eyes?"

2011 also saw the AFL machine that is the GWS take off. Led by the senile old prick Kevin Sheedy, GWS travelled the country spinning their message to any old fool who would listen! Trying to push their way into the League Heartland of Western Sydney! Whether they make inroads is very unlikely, but the AFL won’t die wondering! Throwing money at it like it’s going out of fashion!

GOLF

Saw Tiger Woods break a 2 year winning drought! Tiger got back to nailing Birdies! Not long afterwards he made a winning putt on 18th Green to win a tournament!

2011 also saw Greg “the Snake” Chalmers stamp his authority on the Aussie Tour winning both the Aussie Open and Aussie PGA tournaments. The Snake showed his abilities on course, but did cop the ire of the Dingo after blabbering like a baby during one of his victory speeches.

Robert Allenby was also in the Golfing Headlines in 2011. As usual with Robert it was for all the wrong things! The sooner this prick retires, the better! The dingo is sick and tired of reading the drivel about him! Do us all a favour Robert!

TENNIS

Sam “I’d make a Bulldog Spew” Stosur managed to do her country proud winning the US Open! The issue with Sam’s victory is the fact it will be more remember for Serina Williams losing her “Banana” when having a run in with linesman and Chair umpire!  Serina really went out of her way to make a “monkey” of herself!

2011 also saw Lleyton Hewitt again waste his time and incorrectly call himself a professional! Lleyon “I’m the 1st round bye” Hewitt really needs to move onto the next step of his life! The retirement village is calling!

SWIMMING

The Super Fish Ian Thorpe made announcement to the World. Not that he’s raving horses hoof, but the fact he’s making a comeback for the London Olympics!

"is coming out of ??????"

2011 was the year of the comeback in Swimming! Skippy Huegill decided it was time to get off the gear and stop eating pies, diving back into the Pool! He did manage to empty the pool in the process but certainly brought  the fans back with his Fat Guts and his belly floppers!

"GUTSY Comeback"

CYCLING

Cadel Evans made history in France. Being the 1st Australian to ever win the Tour De France since it’s begining way back when! Cadel created a huge following for cycling! Many men, women and children were inspired by Cadel and proceded to jump on their bikes!

I know the Dingo is hoping that Hewitt and Crapenby might catch on the bandwagon and jump on their bikes! And hopefully they won’t come back!!!!!

MOTOR RACING

Saw Mark Webber………Well Mark did Sweet F&*k ALL to be honest! He managed to win the last race of the year  and offered false hope to his supporters. Suggesting the Brazilian GP would propel him to big and better things next year! Maybe Cadel could help Mark out….Get on ya Bike son! Remember what happened last time?????

Talking of Bikes, Casey “I Look Like A” Stoner “blew” his rivals away in the Motor GP Championship. Stoner’s opponents experienced plenty of passive smoking of his exhaust fumes as he once again got back on Top! Even giving the Dr the slip and good old spray of his ambitions not matching his abilities. I think young Casey might have had a couple too many hot ones as the Dr is an absolute legend of the Sport!

" U want to smoke this Pipe?"

BOXING

So the year that was in Boxing was pretty similar to previous years. Manny the Pacman dominated for most of the year, apart from getting a bit luck in his last fight of the year when the general opinion was he had lost when in the fact the judges gave him the win. Wouldn’t be a year of boxing without controvsery and dodgy decisions!

Australian Boxing pretty much stayed the same. The real contenders Katisidis & Darchyian made numerious big fights and really flew the flag for Australia. Then there was the Neville’s like Green & Mundine who continued to fight Cab Drivers, Bums, potential corpses and men from the retirement villages.

While Shannon Taylor tried to become a corpse, mistaking Heroin for Cocaine and overdosing. Just another year in Australian Boxing really!!!!

SOCCER

Now does anyone care about the round ball game?  Let’s just say we in Australia are absolute shiser at the game. The National League is sponsored by a freaking cheap as chips Asian Car company.  Quite fitting considering the standard!

Harry and Emerton made a bif of splash with news of their return to Australia for a bit of Cherry on top in Superannuation Fund. Hopefully they can entice a few more of Australia’s best players to return home and continue to improve the standard of our national competition.

Anyway 2011 saw the Brisbane Roar dominate. Winning last season competition after Central Coast Chokers threw away a 2 nil lead with 5 minutes to play!  The roar continued on an unbelievable run, breaking all records.  Only to have recently hit a snag and now on a bit of losing run!

 

Winners are Grinners

 

So as you can see sprayers,  it’s been a big year in Sport! This K9 has certainly enjoyed the sporting world. And look forward to it being even bigger and better in 2012.

So I’m keen to here your thoughts on 2011? Also let the Dingo know if there’s any topics you’d like to see sprayed in 2012!

So punters, it’s time for the Dingo to tuck into some xmas tucker and get absolutely *&*t faced!

Til next year, have a happy christmas and a sloshed new year!

Dingo out!

Sporting Women, Dropped Pies & Ugly Sticks

punters,

well the Dingo has been copping it both barrels!

The Punters are calling the Dingo one eyed and bias! They are calling me a fair weather blogolgist! I’ve even been compared to Rebecca Wilson. Thick as 2 Bricks and no real talent…

The Dingo was hurt by these accusations…. And would like to clear up a few things…

Yes I know Fat Women and Ugly chicks want to feel the love!

And as one our SSD Authors has told me on numerous occassions….every mole has a hole…..

So in light of this sentiment it’s time to give a good shout out to the Ugly Sporting Women of The World who have left their marks on the sporting world….

Mostly through broken camera lenses….but hey this is a balanced article!

So our 1st nomination of the year goes to Samantha “I’d make a Bulldog Spew” Stosur!!!!!

Sam has come to prominence as not only the Aussie Bird who won The US Open, but also famous for making  Serina “I believe in Evolution” Williams look like an Oil Painting……

Sam’s a bit of all rounder on the Tennis Court!!!! But demostrates her best work on the “GRASS” courts!!!!

Jessica Schipper another one of  Australia’s finest athletes to fall from the Ugly True!

Jess Special

Jess is so talented, she’s obviously by passed the Para Olympics and thrown herself in the deep end of profession swimming! She’s got such a strong mental approach that she regular scares the shit out of her competiters!

One Punter asked whether Caster Semenya would qualify as having a head like a drop Guy, sorry I mean Pie!

Brother of Serina & Venus

I actually thought Caster was Venus and Serina’s long lost Brother!!!!!!

Now Punters, the Dingo would like to throw a few names that some of you would never heard of…

Hot Diggy Dog!

Crystl Bustos- now crystl profession is Softball- there’s nothing softball about Crystl! I think kilo’s of raw meat still wouldn’t encourage the King of The Jungle to take her on!

Paula Ratcliffe- now Paula, she’s famous for being able to run! But can’t pace herself!!! Old rancid Paula is famous for being 20k’s into a marathon having to pull over!!!! Not for a piss!!!! She’s so ugly she saw her own reflection in a mirror and shit herself!

Deadset butt Ugly old Paula!

Cheyrl Haworth-

A Picture Says A Thousand Words!

Priscilla Lopes-Schliep- Priscilla can run! I hope she can, i can see a large mob with pitch forks trying to fix her up!

What do they say? Don't look back????

Rebecca Adlington- Rebecca is famous for being a swimmer! however certainly resembles someone who’s been working with bees for years but without the protective gear!

England's all natural Bee Keeper!

So seriously any one hungry?

Didn’t think so!

Dingo out!

Curry Off!

punters,

so the Indian Cricket Team is back in Australia. And you know it didn’t take them long to get back to their stinking usual tricks!

In our beautiful Nations capital today against the Chairmans XI for their final hit out before the Boxing Day Test.

Anyway these whinging, thieving, stinking, curry eating pricks have already pulled out the whole we are walking off…Now this seems to happen way to often.

Last time they were here they threatened to abandon the tour after that stinking dirty Indian Harbajan Singh & his towel got himself suspended for Calling our own Andrew Symonds are monkey!

"So Harbi...which Zoo did you escape from?"

Now I read today, that they’ve threatened to walk out on the Warm up match because of a not so great weather forecast for the next 3 days in Canberra????

Are these pricks for real? Their excuse is that they could be in Melbourne getting some proper practice in, than be in rainy old Canberra? Well if the match was so important for them they did they rest a couple of their batting starts and then win the toss and bat when weather is not of the best nature?

I for one am sick and F^&king tired of these dodgy, poor hygiened bastards holding our game to ransom! It’s about time ICC stood up to these snivelling bastards and put them back in their place! They should be reminded that they a poverty stricken country that really have very little going for itself!

And here, the Dingo was thinking that due to Towel Head Harbajan still being in India because he can’t bowl to save himself anymore this tour would be different….

Don’t be stupid Punters, they are back to their dodgy old ways yet again!

Dingo out!

Hot Sporting Minx 2011

punters,

2011 is coming to an end….and i thought it was a good chance to go over an important issue in World Sports….

Now this issue I do take very seriously, and i suggest that once we tackle this issue be sure to be sitting down and don’t go standing up in public too quickly afterwards!!!!

And the topic of choose is Hot Sporting Minx of 2011!

Now we are looking for some bombshells that have made there way onto the cameras not for just their good looks but because of their feats in their own sporting professions.

40 LOVE!

 One of the Dingo’s personal favourites is the beautiful Ana Ivanovic.Ana has been in the news in 2011 for basically stooping Adam Scott!!!!What a lucky Bastard!

 

Mr Eldridge 2.0 kindly nominated Caroline Wozniacki. Young Wozi has stormed onto the Tennis scene with a cracking year which has seen her “crack” the Number 1 Spot in the Tennis rankings and the hearts of many Men around the worldOh Caroline!!!!!!!!!

                                                                            
 
If Ana or Caroline are not for you,  Maybe the Animal lovers will say Serina Williams is at the top of “Tree” when it comes to Sporting Minx??? 

Tree Climber...oops Tree Topper?

 
 
 
Other Sporting Minx that may top the charts include Alana Blanchard, Heather Mitts, Hope Solo, Maria Sharapova, Natalie Gulbis, Lolo Jones,.
 
 

Alana can ride my "Board"

 

 

get ya "Mitts" on this!

 

Lolo who? Lolo me!!!!!!!

So Punters what’s your take?

 The Dingo needs a cold shower now.
 
Dingo out!

Master Splinter and the Teenage Portugese International!

Punters,

The Dingo is pumped! The BB is here and I for one can’t wait.

The topic of discussion around the Water Coolers of this wonderful nation has been all the talk of the Big Bash.

The punters are going nuts and talking up there individual tribes chances….

Old Danny Green on the back of the scorchers, here’s to hoping there being no KO’s for the Scorchers….Mind you I’m sure that Kat would be willing and ready if the Knuckle was to commence.

Kat ready for action!

Word on the street down in Tassie is that Martin Bryant has been telling anyone who will listen to his manic rantings that Hurricanes are specials…..Now it’s ok all, Martin is quietly tucked away in his Cell, the only rampage to occur down in Hobart is the Punters to the souvenirs store for a Rana Mullet!

Down in Adelaide, old Guy Sebastian has been singing to the masses. Spreading the Strikers Gospel! He telling anyone who listens look out for Alfonso, The Enterprise and few Cling ons!

In Melbourne, Bill Lawry been telling everyone that you might as well have a one off Final between the Renegades and the Stars as they are sure things because their victorians, we Love him we want boof get em up…..Now come on settle down there Bill!!!!! I think Bill been breathing in  way too much  Pigeon waste in that mighty horn that is his nose!

Bill & Wendy Jnr Jnr

So what about you Punters?

The Dingo not afraid to show his loyalties towards the Brisbane Heaters! Being a born bred Banana Bender, I’m pumped! Great to See the old fella Haydos winding back the clock. Great seeing Haurie return to his rightful home! And what about the name Heat! Also lead my the master that is Boof Lehmann.

However it may disturb you punters some of  us are not as strong in showing our true colours!

When discussing with the Mr Eldridge 2.0, i ask that fable question….Where are ya loyalties in the Big Bash? And what did he respond, “I’ve always looks good in Pink so I’ll have to jump on Sixers wagon” To which the Dingo responds with you’ve been keen on the Portugese international Moises…..Mr Eldridge was then very quick to bail off the that “rickety bandwagon” and pledge is allegiances to the scorchers, but has a bit of a thing for the Enterprise and likes a good old strike!!!!!!


Now Mr Eldridge, the Dingo has a message for you…….

 ya need to remove the Splinters from ya “Dairy Air”, grow ya self a set of marbles…..And get all Tribal and Passionate about whoever it s ya got!

Come on Punters get involved….Let the Dingo know who ya got? Also do you have a message for Mr Eldridge 2.0

Your Tribe is waiting

Dingo out!

Colours, Bombs & A Few Giggles

Punters,

THE BIG BASH is here…..

No no no not another Robert Lui going 5 rounds with his Mrs after a big Mad Monday…..

This is the real deal….The Aussie Version of the IPL!

When you turn on ya Telly tonight and see all the bright colours about,

No it’s not A Wiggles Open Air concert, or the Teletubbies running around…..

Its the best Australia has to offer throw in a few overseas players for a bit of Hit & giggle cricket….

The Dingo is not completely sold on this concept, yet I’m willing to give it ago…

To get in the spirit you’ll have seen the Dingo has thrown down the Gauntlet to all the sprayers and punters out there in the Foxsports fantasy bash!

You want to kick the Dingo’s arse, get involved…

Anyway here’s the low down a few cut price bargains and also some over priced Spuds…..

Rob Quiney- Melbourne Stars- this fellow has been dominating Ryobi Cup and hits the pill along way. Don’t be fooled by his air fairy name, he won’t be affraid to throw the willow. Dirt cheap at $70K

The Dutch man Tom De Cooper- This bloke is a steal at $75k! This bloke is in red hot form. A Man Who Belts the Curry munchers to all parts of the ground is winner in my mind. Coming off a very handy 180, he’s a must in your team.

Mitchell Marsh- “Mudplain” Marsh as i like to call him…Younger brother of “Son of Swampy” is a young up and comer! Now Mitch hasn’t missed out in the Marsh Gene pool! A very formidably player in the Short Game! Watch out for him with both Stick and rock in hand! Cut priced at $90K

The Marsh Genepool "comes" on Strong

Michael Neser- Who you ask? This Mighty QLD’er will surprise a few people…Coming off a few outstanding innings in the Brisbane Grade Cricket, including 75* off 30 odd balls…this bloke Bombs em! And is also handy with ball in his mit! Very undervalued at $75K.

Luke Wright- Yes a stinking dirty Pom who probably hasn’t had shower since he arrived in the Country…however his performances in the T20 format certainly don’t stink! He’s a consistent performer of both disciplines. Cheap as chips at $70K.

Daniel Smith- Obviously not priced the match his weight! $75K is a deal for this Fat Prick…Just asked the Victorians how he goes! Bombs them long! Look out if the Thunder have him on Pie incentives! It could get hectic!

Jayde Herrick- now this bloke is a fruit loop! Star Tattoos all over his body just smells like a man with confidence and ready to make a household name of himself. Been taking wicket after wicket in our Domestic comp! So look out for him. And you only need $50K  for this fellow! My Bargain of the comp!

Stars & Sweat Bands! DK would be proud!

Now for the overpriced Spuds…

Shaun Tait will cost ya $95K to watch him bowl at 150 clicks and concede 150 runs! Thanks Taity but no thanks!

Brad Haddin- $90k? Are you kidding me? Stevie Wonder has been showing more form with stick in hand….and hardly seeing Hadds being amongst the dismissals. Again Pass!

Steve Smith-$100K. are these blokes having a laugh! Now if were looking at cutting down a tree! Give me Smithy! But this is still cricket and this bloke is a busted arse! Piss off Smithy!

Mark Fatsgrove-$90k! Old Fatso one of my favourite type of cricketers! He’s a fat prick who loves his pies and beers! However doesn’t crack it this type of fast and furious cricket! Leaving the Fats to clear out the Canteen game time warming the pine! Unlucky Fatso!

What ya means there no f^&king pies???

So Sprayers thats it from the Dingo.

Beware you have been Warned!

Dingo out!

Bababa bastards!

So Punters,

The Dingo never thought he would see the day, our once all mighty cricket team would lose a test match to those Sheep shaggers across the Ditch on our own effing patch!!!!! 25 old years it’s been. The days when Sir Dick was merely plain old Dick Hadlee..

The Sir Dick

It wasn’t enough to have to deal with those from the “land of the long white cloud” shoving their world cup win well and truly into our faces, we now have to deal with the Hobart saga!

What should have been a perfect way for one of our cricketing greats to farewell his home town with a beat down on the easy kill that is usually the kiwis, has turned into one almight f*(king Nightmare! The Dingo was trying to kick his own arse after watching our XI waive the proveribal White Flag!

I would argue this is the lowest ebb for the Australian Cricket Team since when Kim Hughes decided to blow his nose on the camera’s after yet another Aussie surrender way back when! Desperate times called for Desperate measures and Cricketing Bigwigs shook it up by appointing a young wet behind the Ears Allan Border.

 

AB pointing the Finger at some under achievers

 

To me, we are basically back at the same point! The lowest of lows.

If this doesn’t jolt us into action nothing will! Gone are the days that we could slowly send our previous champions off into International Cricket Wilderness one by one. We ‘ve had such a dominance on the sport we’ve pretty much been able to do what we please!!!!

But the winds are change are here, and if we don’t act soon, you will be mentioning our names as the 8th and 9th ranked cricketing nations in the world.

Lets face it we don’t want to be like the West Indies, yes there was a period where they dominated World Cricket and  their Gorilla attack use to scare the absolute pants of many a batsmen requiring jockstrap changes at intervals….

But they are now the laughing stock of world cricket and certainly don’t look like coming out of  it in the next 5-10 years!

So it’s time the “Colonel Sanders” Inverarity found the Secret Herbs and Spices for the future of Australian Cricket….

 

Inverarity searching for the Secret Herbs & Spices

 

And the Dingo can tell you something for nothing…Hughes, Ponting, Hussey & Haddin are not the ones he’s looking for!!!!!!!!!

It’s time for blokes who are in form. Blokes like “Fast” Eddie Cowan,  Peter “Can see the Tree’s from the” Forrest, Dan “one of the brothers” Christian and Matthew “I’m much better than Haddin” Wade who are continually amongst the runs in all forms of state cricket to be fast tracked to the Aussie Team!

Dingo along  with hopefully a few Aussie Cricketers OUT!!!!!!

he’s back….not in the way you expected!

Punters,

now the Dingo is hoping you all got a little bit like him today,

when you picked up your newspaper,  or jumped on the Social networks or on the Internet and you saw “Tigers Back”, “Tiger Back on Top”, “Tigers breaks the Drought by One Stroke”, “Tiger back into the Swing of things”….

GUR baby GUR

now I’m sure you had something else in mind….Not the fact that The Big Fella has broken a 2 year drought by winning a tournament.

Now are you like the Dingo? And a little bit disappointed….All the news articles are referring to Tiger being back to his best. He’s mastered his new swing, and ready to dominate the World Golf Scene again!

Well the Dingo says….BOOORRRIIINNNNGGGGG!!!!!

Golf got a bit of life into it due to the fact Tiger was having His “Fairwaywood” being polished by a few beautiful ladies came to light.

I have to say I was very disappointed not see some Warney like ”sting”, with Elwood running around in jocks, about to Tee it up on the Back Nine with a few stunning ladies….Maybe even a good old Fist pump!

WARNIE WARNIE WARNIE

Admit it Punters you wanted to see the Tiger back on TOP….and i’m not just talking about the Leaderboard!

Birdies on the Scorecard

FORE!!!!!!

Dingo out!

Newcastle Specials….

so Novacastrians are rejoicing….

they are already planning the ticket tape parades….

The chosen one has arrived to solve all their problems…..

That’s right folks BENNETT has arrived……

and what’s Benny got to say on his first day on the job?????

“something really special about Newcastle”

Well Benny has a way of stating the fu&ken obvious! He must of been hanging out with Ian Chappell…..

Well yes Wayne, half of the Newcastle  population is special! In half of them are mentally Angus & Cooted!

Look this is how retarded Newcastle is….they think Nathan “my wallets as fat as me guts” Tinkler comes along, starts waving greenbacks, pineapples and every other piece of currency around and all of sudden they are world beaters????

Give the Dingo a break!

Ok they’ve done a bit of recruiting….Boyd, Snowden, BUDERUS and Zimmer Frame…….

Not going to be enough to get them the Big one!

Maybe Nathan could throw some money into building some more Mental institutions….as Benny himself may need one after a couple years in Spazcastle cough…. Newcastle!

That’s it from me as I need to return to the Padded Cell!

Dingo out!

Crapenby this, crapenby that

you guessed it punters,

today the dingo has that oxygen thieving Robert Crapenby in his sight!

Poor old Long John has the absolute shit beaten out of him by the Australian press for basically taking his clubs & going home after depositing a large number of balls in the lake!

Yet this prick Allenby whinge’s and carries on until the Cows come home yet the Australia press doesn’t serve up an equal blast…..

The Dingo asks WHY????

I hear you say he’s Australian? I couldn’t give 2 hoots if’ he’s polishing Tigers Shaft with the Aussie Flag wrapped around him…..

I for one and sick and tired of hearing the same of drivel from Crapenby!

This bloke shovels more shit than Kenny has had to hose of his clothes!

When the Golf Authorities tried to make golf more exciting by introducing a party hole ( let’s face it the sport is as boring as bat shit) Crapenby had a great old whinge! Even Boycotts the following year because of the abuse he cops during the event…..

Don’t whinge about it Dick for Brains and the punters won’t give you stick about it.

Now recently he’s been again had the severage flowing from his dial. After the Shark picked him for the Presidents Cup due the fact they were playing at his home course! F$%k me I’d would hate to see how he played on one he hasn’t played on before!!!!!!

But yet again….Crapenby comes up with it wasn’t his fault he went 0-5?

Well Robert how did you go in the Match Play???? That’s right it was all over after 11 holes!!!!!! Thanks for coming!!!!!!

I for one am glad that he lost the playoff to the Snake on the weekend!!!!!

There’s a bloke who the shark could of relied on at the Presidents Cup.
And good to see that the Snake learn’t from the earlier spray the Dingo gave him…. As I was preparing to send out the Kleenex!!!!

Anyway Crapenby, the Dingo has a bit advice for ya, either put up or shut up!

You haven’t won since Adam was a boo! So do us all a favour when the press asks to talk to you politely decline as you’ve got to work on your game!

Fore!!!!!!!!! Dingo out!

 

Robbie Wawah Fully Sick

So it’s cricket season….and what happens when the Dingo opens up the newspapers & sports sites.

he has to read yet again about the sook that is Robbie Wawah….sorry Farah

Look I know the Lebs are emotional race, but F%$k me, This bloke crys at the drop of a Kebab.

It’s not enough that I have to deal with the Peanut coming into every press conference with blood shot eyes, whinging about the refs, whinging about being tackled, whinging that Beau Ryan’s broken to many plates at his restaurant…

Now Robbie is blowing up about not getting much game time on the Kangaroo tour…. News FLASH for ya Wawah….your not Fully Sick Bra, ya fully SHIT!!!

And wouldn’t tie Cameron Smith’s boot laces. You probably can’t even tie your own!

Every Big game you’ve played in you’ve come up short each time! Why would Sheensy risk his coaching gig with Aussie’s to keep you ya muppet happy!!!!

So Farah, man up, remove ya skirt, stop thieving oxygen and get on with it…

Otherwise piss of to Parra and you and other whinging sook Hayne can cry each other to sleep while telling each other how sick ya are and how hard done by you both are!

Give me a break….
Where’s the Tabouli???

Dingo

Lock it in Eddie!!!!

So sprayers I know this topic is not going to be close to many hearts out there…..

But it’s been brewing in the Dingo’s system and it needs to be released before I become a Rabid dog on a rampage….

Eddie “f^&king” McGuire…..

Seriously Eddie…Lock it in….That’s your head, in a huge industrial vice and let the Dingo tighten it until ya head pops off your stupid bloody shoulders…

What’s made the Dingo so mad I hear you ask….

Well Eddie has just pushed me over the limits….He’s come out today in the media and declared War on GWS if they make a play for Scott Pendlebury next year when he comes off contract….

Oh poor poor Collingwood who might happen to deal with losing one of their Dozen absolute stars to the new Franchise! Come on Ed, stop having a cry and wake up and smell Dencorub…

You pricks at Collingwood has been looked after by the AFL for way too long.
Piss easy draws, leniency when your players step out line, the list goes on….

And you want to  stop something every other club has to deal with….

Wake up to yourself you oxygen thieving bastard!!! Now where’s that vice?

Party Like????

So sprayers….

Enlight of Zac Guildford recent Antics on the booze….

The Dingo would like to know who you would like to party with?

There’s been plenty of candidates in recent years….

Names like

Guildford, Carney, Myles, Tilse, Symonds, Tindall, Fevola, Cousins, Flintoff, Alfie Langer and his table topping dance troupe, Seymour, Timmy Smith, Joey Johns, Benny Kennedy, Brendan Costin…..

Then you wind the clock back a bit and you’ve got such names as Boon, O’Neil, Nadruku, Gazza, Beefy, DK, Marshy, Dougie Walters, MG, Choppy Close, Long John Daly, Peter Jackson….. I’m sure there’s many I’ve missed!

So sprayers let me know ya favourites!!!!

Crying Chalmers, Godly Badly & Hiding Tiger

Greg Chalmers

So the Aussie Open is done for the year, and what do you know  an Aussie wins it….

And can ya bloody believe but a good old leftie has come up Trumps….

Now being outstanding lefty myself, it brought a tear to me eye, but then I heard his victory speech…..And the bloke was a blubbering mess!!!!!

Now unless I’m mistaken, I’m pretty sure he wasn’t reading a eulogy for Peter Roebuck…..

What is it with professional sportspeople who blubber when they win and thank god and just about everyother man and his dog! I want to here someone get up there and say it as it, I thank myself for braining all you other losers out there!

Now that I mention GOD…..Aaron Baddeley (I personally prefer Badly)…now he bash’s the bibles with the best of them, but seriously why’s he’s bothering….

Yes he’s got a smoking hot Mrs…but his Golf is up the crapper!!!!

Ok he might of cracked a top 10, but this Dingo measures success against Wins…..

And we aint seeing much of that from Bads!

I much prefer to see the Tiger Woods and Adam Scotts of the golfing world. Play a bit golf, on and off the course!

Tigers obviously being Hiding his club in a few ladies bags, And Adam Scott, well he’s Driving on a very tidy Fareway!!!!

Dingo could quite easily Get UP & ABOUT just like these 2 fine athletes are probably right about now!

WTF Just happened?

Ok Punters????

Seriously has the world ended????

Might as well have….

So let me start with saying….Dog…What an innings!!!!! Innings of a life time….Never to be repeated,

Well if your serious it shouldn’t be…..

Now don’t shoot me down….But when your captain comes out and says in a press conference that he takes full responsbility….WTF does this mean????

Look the Dingo likes cliches…but f^&k me drunk!!!!! We’ve as a nation have just soiled out almighty rep as a cricketing nation with an inept performance up there with the best of them…..

and what’s our all mighty leader got to say about it???I take full responsbility!!!!!!
Well good dog, FULL RESPONSIBILITY????

Look the Dingo is sick and tired of the dribble that keeps flowing from the power to be’s….Blind Freddie and Stevie wonder all see our cricket nation is well and truly ANGUS and COOTED…….

Words mean SFA! (SWEET F^*K ALL – just for the retarded!) I demand action….

So unless the DOG has his Axed sharpened and goes into the SHEDS swinging like a punch drunk boxer knowing he’s down on points in 10th needing a miracle KO- WTF DOES full responsbility mean!!!!

We as Sporting fanatics…we should demand no more than at least MASS CULL!!!!!!

Or at the very least some Asian folk should be chowing down on one Fried DOG!

ACTIONS SPEAK MUCH LOUDER THAN WORDS!!!!!!!!!

One Pissed OFF DINGO!!!!!!!!

Adam….Where’s Ana?

punters….what’s the 1st thing that comes to ya mind when you hear the name Adam Scott????

Well lately it’s been Stevie Williams…..But WRONG….Try again????

Potential World Number 1? Hahahaha your having a laugh wrong………..

He’s going to break the Aussies whodoo and win a Major……there’s as much hope of that happening as there is of Michael Clarke and Simon Katich sharing a latte in tattoo parlour getting BFF tattooed on each other…..

No….

The thing that comes to my head or heads……

Is Ana Ivanovic!!!!!!

Now by far away the best piece of Grass he’s ever had the pleasure of putting on!!!!!!

Now if Tiger really wanted revenge….Now wouldn’t a little Practice on her green go down a real treat!!!!!

very lush Green!

PC….What a load Bulls^*t

punters,

what the fook is the world coming to?

PC MADNESS IS TAKING OVER THE WORLD….

I hear Stevie Williams is in strife for calling Tiger Woods a Black a^&hole?

You give me a better description of Tiger and this Dingo will eat his own tail…

Like fair suck (and tigers had plenty)when you’ve got a Model Mrs as smoking hot as Ellen and your playing the backnine at any old local course…..well brothers to me you are a right well a^&hole??? and deserve good old 9 iron around the chops!!!

Dingo out!

 

 

 

Foreign Invaders

yo punters,

the dingo been wallowing in his dog bowl over the last 24 hours trying to work out where it all went wrong…..

i feel like the proverbial shit has been kicked out of me like the family pet after a dog of a day….

anyway like many punters i’ve managed to give a fair chunk of my hard earned to those thieving bastards we call the TAB!!!!

now am I the only one that feels a bit thieved by our race that stops the nation?

every Tom, Dick & Harry from all the great horse racing nations seem to bring their horses out for that one race on the 1st Tuesday in November….

now i don’t like being a wowser, but what the hell has happened to breeding of stayers in our grand country? Since the Diva has had her saddle and reins put in the rack we’ve seem to lost the plot.

Even the great one Barts major chance in the cup had been brought in from Germany???

what’s doing? i for think it’s piss weak and wants answers?

Time for our trainers to have a good hard look at themselves, extract a digit and get serious about training some decent Donkey’s so these foreign pricks don’t keep nicking of with our Cup!

disgusted, hungry and that little bit poorer
Dingo

Warming the Pine

Sport for those with comfortable couches.