2013 Ashes best and fairest: The Dar comes to Lords

It’s official. The series scoreline tells me that The Dar has now taken over as the most interesting aspect of the 2013 Ashes.

Even after our boys were pipped at the post by 347 runs in a Lords thriller, it was the adored medal with its footy parentage that was on everyone’s lips as it raced up global popularity charts like a bullet.

For the entirety of the match, the home of cricket buzzed with the sound of exquisite Darscussion, and even the fledgling award’s cut-through was recognised in hurriedly-established poll form.

In a wide ranging survey involving Steven Warner, where the opinions of himself and all his immediate brethren were represented, The Dar was ranked as more popular than Shane Watson, Mickey Arthur and all Australian batsmen, while fell just short of topping the likeability of Australian bowlers, Twitter and puppies.

As this series continues to degrade in to a one horse race, the new footy-centric yardstick for the best and fairest of kingdom vs convict is only going to continue on its Rudd-like rise, so get it on your raDar and make your late nights over the next four weeks worthwhile.

Plenty of Joes on offer after this memorable innings.

Plenty of Joes on offer after this memorable innings.

History was made at Lords when The Dar had its first multiple vote winner for BOG, and for those uninitiated, that’s ‘best on ground’ and not the efforts of the Australian top six.

5- Joe Root

Coming in to this Test, the babyfaced opener was identified by Clarke and his bowlers as the marshmallow halfback in a defensive line of hulking beasts. Root shafted this ideal with a maiden Test century coated in grit, thus showing he can effectively deal with a stream of bustling forwards being piloted in his direction, even though he looks like he belongs in the under-14s.

4- Ian Bell

A hairier and frecklier cricketing version of Gary Ablett Jr with his clutch contributions and leather poisoning. Once again, showed Australia how to correctly grip a cricket bat and expertly utilise it to score a lot of runs.

3- Graeme Swann

Business as usual recommenced for the wily veteran as he returned to opening up Australian resistance like they were the 1999 Western Suburbs Magpies. Ran amok in the first innings with five wickets before cashing in on a tired opposition defence in the second with another four cheap pies to add to the collection.

2- Ryan Harris

Not English, but nearly was, most probably due to coming off the bench in a booze-soaked lower grade match on a European Contiki tour in his teens. However, thanks to cricket’s pliable international eligibility rules being much like rugby league, he was able to make the wrong choice and commit to Australia, and showed his class for his homeland with a standout performance with the ball in the first innings.

1- Jonny Bairstow

Shared in an all-spotty-oranged first innings partnership of 141 with Bell that showered the hallowed Lords turf in Fanta and Skittles for the English. This contribution helped boost his team’s total to the elite air of 300+, a place many moons away from Australia’s reserve grade batting capabilities.

With two rounds gone, here’s the state of play in the race for The Dar.

8 – Ian Bell
5 – James Anderson
5 – Joe Root
3 – Graeme Swann
3 – Peter Siddle
2 – Ashton Agar
2 – Ryan Harris
1 – Jonny Bairstow
1 – Brad Haddin

For round one’s results, click here. 

Leave a comment


  1. The Senior

     /  July 23, 2013

    Did Haddin receive his vote for
    (a) His wonderful ability to leave the ball and watch it pass between himself and first slip.
    (b) His assessment of the pitch which allowed byes to almost attain top score or
    (c) The manner in which he stuffs up, with aplomb,efforts to effect stumpings?

  2. Brett

     /  July 27, 2013

    @ The Senior…I’m not sure what you are driving at with you criticism of Haddin….as he has been a strength for the Aussies while in the UK. Wade is an O.K. keeper (at best!)…his technique has been built (he aint no natural…) and his batting is unimpressive at the international stage (when compared to Haddins…and not including sri lanka :P). Haddin is WELL respected internationally in both facets (keeping and batting). As, of course, you wouldn’t replace him with Wade (as Wade is tErRiBLe!!!!!) who would you choose to replace him….??

  1. The 2013 Ashes best and fairest: Mancunian Dar | Stand, spray and deliver.
  2. The 2013 Ashes best and fairest: Mancunian Dar | Stand, spray and deliver.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Dane Eldridge Tries Hard

Contemporary rugby league surrealism and hot takes on Shane Warne

%d bloggers like this: