Oak out. Forrest in.

The Gonski Report had far-reaching effects that stretched further than the local education scene when it was handed down this week.

A copy even found its way to John Inverarity’s desk, which served as profound inspiration for the gawky former school principal to take snap amputation action.

On Monday, he rapidly used it to whack Ricky Ponting across the head just before he asked him to leave the Australian ODI bureau forever.

Ricky didn’t think the parting book-slap would arrive so rapidly, as was evident in the terse yet candid delivery of his pyjama game adios yesterday. And I’ve got to admit, it creeped up on me also.

Will you now please finally admit to extensive follicle tampering?

His Lazarus effort in the India test series after an agonizing period of nada in the lead-up had the media locking up the torture chamber and putting the rose-coloured glasses back on, thinking that he was back to his erstwhile mode of invincibility.

He even had a couple of games back in the box seat with the 50 over captaincy.

But the cold hard bitch of retirement speculation is always lurking in a nearby hedge when you are at Punter’s crusty age. Give her 2 or 3 poor knocks to get her randy and she’s ready to swing the stiletto of separation at a moment’s notice, regardless of who you are or how many vitamin ads you appear in.

We should’ve never doubted how closely she shadows the elderly, holding a rolled-up Daily Telegraph, ready to brutally wield on a tidily kept Advanced Hair head when essential.

The hard numbers indicated that Punter was in a poor stretch. But the scenario was missing the typical prolonged groundswell of torment from the press baying for his blood this time around.

The unlikely source of the final coffin’s nail was freshman Peter Forrest.

It's all your fault, Pete.

When he found his feet immediately at international level, a bottleneck was created at the top of the order.
With David Warner and Matthew Wade cemented and Michael Clarke and Shane Watson to return, suddenly this summer’s 4 failures became glaring for Punter, making him the loser in a game of musical chairs.

In a blink of a Beef’n’Bourbon black eye, Ricky is now Gonski.

I’m stating the obvious here; his exit is like uprooting a huge oak tree that dominates a backyard space.

The term ‘end of an era’ would do exceptionally well to find a better example than the little hairy man’s departure from the Australian ODI scene.  

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  1. Look, I’ll give the selectors one thing. At least the bastards acted swiftly this time and uprooted a dying tree before everyone in the neigbourhood had got sick of the sight of it. I don’t think myself, and for the that matter, they, could go through another slog of picking up the fish and chip wrappers each morning and see cricket being chocked by speculative sprays and trashy opinion pieces about Punter’s future. I’d fricken had it! Thank God, we can now all move on and concentrate on the bloody game.

    • Dane

       /  February 23, 2012

      As long as the buggers are consistent.

      Either way, new reign has made its first move to distance itself from the dallying of the Hilditch era. They removed him like a band-aid, one swift motion and gone!


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Dane Eldridge Tries Hard

Contemporary rugby league surrealism and hot takes on Shane Warne

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