The Wrap 24/1/11

  • Slamin Sam exits the Aussie open in the first round – Sam, Sam, Sam. What’s doing? The hope of a nation seemed to be too much weight for the Queenslander, but nothing compared with the weight of disappointment she and we are now feeling. The loss cost many a punter his pocket-money and probably an Australian of the year nom for Stosur. The bounce back will be  tough, but after such disappointment this loss could be such a whack up the arse that Stosi may perform pretty well in the coming grand slams.
  • Jerk-a-vich slams Hewitt out of the open – What more can I say? Hewitt tried, but he was never going to win, the Tab even installed him at $17 as proof of their confidence in the little Aussie. Punters, I think Hewitt’s time is well over. It’s time for him to retire and enjoy what his missus has to offer. As for Jerk-a-vich, I’m not a huge fan. And his family piss me off as well, remember those goobers in his box during his first grand slam win some years ago? Wankers! By the way have you seen Jerk’s hair? Christ, you’d need a whipper sniper to get through that shit.
  • Sharapova screeches into the quarters – I don’t mind looking at her, but Sharapova is damn hard to watch as she yells her way through every point. A bit of shoosh wouldn’t go astray.
  • The ghost of Hildich lives on – The Aussie selectors have plonked on the front foot and battered Cameron White back to the pavilion and out of the national T20 side. But, in the same innings the wallys chopped on with their next ball and then tripped over their own shoe laces when leaving the pitch as they installed George Baily as captain and old dog Hogg in the squad. What’s doing there? Hogg retired and Baily has a modest first class record to say the least. Did Invers ask Hildich for advice? Give me a break, please! 
  • The Jets are well on top in their two-day match against the Rail – Once again I’ll save you all the boring stuff, but the Jets managed a season best batting display on the back the season’s worst thanks mainly to David Reid’s cracking 103* and a 53 from yours truly – yes, that’s right folks, I got runs! Against a solid bowling outfit, the Jets were 3 for 67 at tea off 40 overs. After tea Reid tore apart the attack, and with Brown put on close to 80 in 10 overs. The innings finally coming to a close with 238 in the bank and the Rail very sunburnt.
  • Pitch – Quality!
  • Tea – great fruit, a 7/10
  • Cordial – Orange? 15 years of green tradition thrown out the door; the metrosexualization of cricket continues. 
  • The wrap’s moment of the week – Scott Brown’s best Ed Cowen impression scoring 20 runs in 40 overs. 
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  1. Old dog

     /  January 24, 2012

    Hah!! What about the grey mans 21? Helped out of trouble again.
    Like the T20 phenomenon sweeping the world, orange cordial is the way of the future. Get on board or cry like an indian test cricketer.
    Every weeks a quality wicket unless the pommies finish it off.
    If you don’t like the lunch, get it your damn self.
    Great innings bill lawry.

  2. Dane

     /  January 24, 2012

    Where do you get these photos from? Hilarious!

    What about Cam White? Christ.. I know I potted him a few weeks back but I didn’t expect him to be replaced by someone with a similar BBL record and bugger-all international experience! George Bailey is a beast at state level and a grouse captain, and it may yet turn out to be an inspired choice, but it’s a fookin’ left field gamble! Just goes to show we still haven’t fully embraced T20.

  3. Brilliant stuff by the Corpse with pads S.Brown and M. “Stuart MacGills brother” Swain.
    I was as sad as you my friend when i saw Orange Crush dribbing from the urn and
    you may have to get your own Tea after that spray, pity theres never any pies…Boom

  4. Old dog

     /  January 26, 2012

    I see why your in the fast bowlers cartel. Too stupid to realise there were pies on offer. Do your research.


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Dane Eldridge Tries Hard

Contemporary rugby league surrealism and hot takes on Shane Warne

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