Danny’s Test Wrap

Dear Fellow Sprayers,

Its Uncle Danny here once again, I’m typing to prove to you that I haven’t fallen off the end of the earth, as it has been a while since my last posting. I’ve just come back from the Subcontient of India and boy I have never been so proud to be an Asian looking Aussie over there. I mention the word ” cricket” and they all look at me as if I am an “Al Qaeda Terrorist”. This is my spray of the current cricket test between Australia and India, so sit back, get a VB, stratch yourself and eat a pie and enjoy my long awaited spray.

Aussie blast the curry out of India!!!!

So I watched the 4th test from hot Adelaide today and I was battling the sideaffects of travellers gastro from my trip and “Jesus Christ” I could have done better than those curry munchies with gastro. Heck, an Under 9’s Chinese water polo team could have done better, likewise an Antartica 15 rugby team could have helped the Indian Cricket team. For God’s sake India, your 2nd strike bowler went for 12 off his 1st over, A horny, blind goat could have conceded less runs!!!! India were terrible in everything they did; fielding, bowling, captain bawled Sewang tactics were worst than my Grandma’s dementia. (she could have done a better job if only she knew where she was!!). The only positive thing they did all day was batting and they didn’t even bat!!!! It was if they left their heart and soul back at Delhi airport.

India took the honours in the first session having Australia 3/84 taking the scalps of blaster master Warner, Steady Eddy Cowan and out of form can’t drink like his Dad Marsh. He really needs to be dropped like a bag of Indian rice on his head on concrete or go back to Milo cricket club for under 7 boys!!!!

But from then on India as may as well walked off and let Pup and Punter do a 2 to 3 hour batting net session while the Indians go home have a good feed of rice and Dalh or Naann bread and well maybe a beef curry even though cows are sacared over there. then they mighty be able to play some decent competitive cricket, the sport they call a religion over there. At times the Indian field looked like a 20/20 match protecting the boundaries but they may as well as been in the grandstand sipping on Chai tea wearing their doudies (man dresses like I brought one).

Hope you all enjoy this spray, shit Ive got diarrhaea again and shit myself for the 60th time today, so Im off to the dunny and shower and clean myself up. As I hope the Indians can do the same tommorrow otherwise I’ll be watching porn on my laptop from the toilet.

Regards Danny Chairman of the Indian Cricket Board.

P.S please don’t let the papers get a hold of this otherwise Im a dead Indian who has eaten his last curry for life!!!!!

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1 Comment

  1. Evers! It’s good to see your back old son! How’s your ring? still burning from the multiple currys. Nice spray though, you really splattered the bowl with that one! At this point, you might be watching porn from the toilet day 5, let’s hope not.


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Dane Eldridge Tries Hard

Contemporary rugby league surrealism and hot takes on Shane Warne

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