Praying the Saeed is planted for an Old Dart Ashes demise

A little added dash of bourbon was last night blended with the already refreshing cocktail that has been this summer of cricket.

Our smelly foes from England were toppled with virtual ease by Pakistan in the first test of their 3 match series in Dubai.

I’ve never been so jubilant for a Pakistan victory in my whole life. I danced in the street and discharged my firearm into the air like a barmy peanut when the paltry target of 15 was hauled in.

Cook leaving the arena. To an Australian, that means it must be lunch.

They rode roughshod over Andrew Strauss’s men inside 3 days and to the tune of 10 wickets.

Sound familiar?

That’s the kind of discourteous timeframe and margin for victory that England repeatedly employed to overcome Australia’s miserable efforts roughly 12 months ago.

So is this just a temporary pipe dream? Can modest Pakistan maintain the rage for at least 1 more test match to wrap up the trophy?

I’ve got my fingers rigidly crossed to the point where the circulation has been cut in my index fingers.

It started oddly in Dubai thanks to some wonky analysis from the men apparently ‘in the know.’

The pundits initially described the track as favourable for the batsmen, yet England had no answer to the crafty off-breaks of Saeed Ajmal who transformed the surface from driveway to quicksand.

Then the Pakistani batsman waltzed out and rolled that bad boy back to a dull and horizontal state, and subsequently built a match-winning lead.

Umar Gul, Abdul Rehman and Ajmal finished off the deal as England limply surrendered to set a skint total for sweet victory of just 15.

Ajmal finished with outstanding match figures of 10/97. He had the English bats clueless from go to whoa.

Ajmal on his way to a big tenner.

So even though the Ashes are still a while away, I implore you to join me in praying that this is the beginning of the end for England’s rebirth as a test cricketing bully.

A lovely little 18 month softening period that has now commenced at the hands of the humble Pakistan test team would be delightful.

I’m dreaming of a capitulation mirroring the aftermath of the 2003 Rugby World Cup where England couldn’t even preserve a plateau.

But judging by my track record on these things, chuck your rent on an England 2-1 prison escape.

Leave a comment


  1. Yep, that’s the difference between this English side and the Australian side of the 2000’s. We possesed all time greats where as i think England have very good players, but not greats. India had / have greats but they didn’t have all time great bowlers at the same time and everyone knows bowlers win matches. So without the all time greats in their side, England could easily fall over in the year or so.

    • Dane

       /  January 22, 2012

      Ken oath, Anderson/Swann et al are superb bowlers but McGrath/Warne they ain’t. Well not yet anyway!


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Dane Eldridge Tries Hard

Contemporary rugby league surrealism and hot takes on Shane Warne

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