Dropbear sighted

Please donate to the Cameron White Runs Fund. This poor kid is needy, destitute and in danger of being out on the street without a team.

Any tailender who racks up more than 10 runs from this point on is obligated to persuade the scorer to have their tally bestowed upon ‘Bear.’

In willow currency terms, he’s currently bankrupt and in dire requirement of a bailout package.

Bear, give yourself the best chance of selection by not bowling.

With Australia playing a 2 match Twenty20 series against India in February and the ICC World Championship in Sri Lanka later this year, our captain needs a bulk influx of mintage post haste.

Even though he’s our leader, is it feasible that he should even be considered with his recent grim numbers?

13 runs in 6 matches in the current Big Bash League is not the foundation one desires for hitting the global stage as captain of your nation.

‘Bear’ was elevated to T20 chief status in March 2011. At the time, his returns in the game’s shorter forms had tailed off considerably after huge output in 2009 and 2010 saw his stocks rise to ODI vice-captaincy and general ‘big nuts’ status in Australian cricket.

Recently, his numbers have further festered and he’s even found himself on the outer of the 50 over scene.

Despite this, his standout record as skipper of Victoria coupled with Australia’s low priority hit’n’giggle approach to T20 meant that he was given the gig in good faith.

The BBL was meant to be the platform where he burst back to batting healthiness and restored the nation’s faith in his fat-bat ways. Unfortunately, it’s gone badly south, and now he’s in the gun.

There’s even a bookmaker who has framed a market on White’s future: $2.65 to beat the drop, $1.45 gonzo. More bad numbers.

As captain, he gets a vote at the selection meeting. There’s another potential bloodbath score in the making.

So is the rare White Australian Polar Bear going to survive the upcoming eradication? Natural selection indicates that he may be left behind.

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4 Comments

  1. Warner next T20 skipper…… & what splendid knock today!!!!

    Reply
  2. Yep, I think your on the money old son. The rare Australian polar bear has found that runs have melted away to a puddle and will find himself soon moved from the endagered species list to the extinction list. His figures of late are something not even Chris Martin would be proud of. The bear won’t have any trout this summer and I think his mate steven smith, NSW’s own species of the bear, will be joining him. 2 useless and ugly batsman who wish they could bowl are likely to find themselves sitting with Mitcell Johnson I’m afraid. Warner for skipper.

    Reply
  3. Love the Chris Martin reference Mr Brown Gold!

    Reply

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Dane Eldridge Tries Hard

Contemporary rugby league surrealism and hot takes on Shane Warne

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